When hope is lost what does a person have left to hold on to? As I write this I face what looks like the perfect storm. Everything that can go wrong has and what looked like a light was nothing more then the light surrounding a black hole. This is how I feel and there is nothing wrong with a person expressing how they feel and the pain there of, but my story will not end this way so read on and you as I will see the light of encouragement if you just hold on until the end of my story.
For those who always need to be positive and hide from the reality of this journey called life, maybe this reality is not for you to embrace or understand because for the vast majority of this world its a struggle and a constant learning experience from our trials and tribulations.
I’m a very optimistic person by nature, I can find the positive in just about every experience I’ve ever faced either bad or good, but I am also a realist in that I will not candy coat the struggle nor the pain because it is real and a important part of life and who we are as human beings. Nor will I paint myself in a better picture then were I am at in life because to do so I would be hiding from the truth and living a lie or another way to express it I would basically be disingenuous to myself and others.
I don’t understand the why right now. I don’t understand why the feeling of being alone is deafening right now. I don’t understand why I feel abandoned and alone. These feelings are real and it reflects the deep pain of my struggle as I try to make since of the battle and fight that is before me.
The truth is I long for relief, I long for normality, I long for peace, I long for it to just be over and done with and I long for genuine companionship by one who is my equal.
So much I am going through and the scale of it only a very select few know all the details while others only know the little I am willing to share for fear of complete rejection and dismay. Not everyone needs to know the totality of a thing because it’s not meant for all.
Friends vary by degrees but that is ok because no matter where a person is in life, not all friends can be the identical same as the other because their are so many defining factors that make us uniquely different and therefore we all can not be the same as the next.
The amazing part of it all is that we are still called and cherished as friends no matter what degree a friend we are to one another. The important part to take to heart is that when called upon a real friend will always be there for you no matter what cost because of their love for you and the timing is right for them to share your struggle and help you through it.
I share these things because I know and have talked to so many people that have and are going through some rather incredible trials in life and it is not always easy to express that struggle in sharing it. Sometimes they need someone else to put it into words for them so that they to can be comforted to know their not alone in their struggle, they are not alone in their trials, they are not alone when all seems to go terribly wrong in life and all hope is just about lost.
I have so much that I am facing right now and the magnitude of it is unbearable to the point I can barely keep my thoughts straight but there are times of clarity which does allow me to express my pain and sorrow either through writing or poetry and it is with these mediums I desire to encourage others who share a similar journey.
I say journey because it encompasses the totality of life both great and small, both ease and pain, both tears and joy and in this journey we are more then conquerors because we embrace it all with a willing heart and mind to both learn and grow ourselves making us in the end a more rounded person of defining character and that my friend and fellow journeyman is what our world needs more of to make it a better place to live.
Let us never stop learning from lifes pain because after all gold is not at it’s purest till after it’s past through the fire of refinement and the dross be removed. My friend we are the gold and the fire is the trials of our life and the dross our imperfections, therefore embrace, learn and grow.